Life

There are always wounds that won't close
Words that can't be taken back
You can put honey on top
Still there is oleander underneath

Everything is as it should be
Still
'Cause what artist could stand sweet tea all the time
All the time?
What could she paint with only pink
Only pink?

A poem to the African statue on top of the bookcase

I understand sista
Was just like you
Placed on pedestal
Unwanted not ready
Frozen locked into
Someone else's
Ideas of who I should be
His dream
Her religiosity

I get it
Bald head
Bare chest
Long skirt
Hiding
Reaching for your individuality
Trust me dear
It comes
It comes in the reaching

Comes in the living the very every day
Keep living
Head high
Back strong

They don't know you
Like I do
All eyes on you
Judging pointing fingers
How do you serve God
When do you pray
Telling you what words are right to say

Keep standing Queen
I hate that sometimes
Queen
Don't you

You didn't ask for the rise
You worked hard and it
Was given to you
I am just freewriting

Don't mind me
I am just happy to
See you

Being still
Getting to know yourself
In the quiet
Next to the light

Troy Anthony Davis

My heart is so heavy with this. I am sad for all of us. I am sad for those who rejoice in this man's death. It hurts deeply that we would kill a man with no evidence. Justice should look different from this. Justice should be sure. If it will not be fair, as its name suggests, it should at least be sure. I ache for you who felt like this is someone else's problem. I am sorry for those of you who feel like the battle is over.

I am not ready to write this poem
this free write
this free style
this sad story

about us
and Georgia
and death
and this is about all of us
whether we see ourselves in him or not
whether we believe in the system or not

Troy Anthony Davis
Troy Anthony Davis
no matter how many times you say his name
his body is dead

it is hard to believe in a system like this
killing a man under the law
lack of evidence
and truth
and trust

color lines and class lines
and lines I can't see
you wouldn't do this to your own
you wouldn't
not like this
not like this

not without absolute
not without knowing

Freewrite about the high school girl stabbed to death by her high school boyfriend

watching the news this hurts this freewrite hurts to write she was only in high school he was only in high school she was too young to die too young to be in a relationship where she would be stabbed to death by her boyfriend too much too much and what is going on

emotions are heavy and no one can watch this without feeling something no one can she is dead and she was stabbed and what happened what happened there are so many questions and where are the answers

Can't turn away from the news but there is too much too sad to watch

i am too old or too emotional or too sensitive or too hormonal or too much too something for the news tonight and i cant turn away and i dont have the energy to write a real poem so this freewrite is all that you get and all i will give myself and one story after the next is heavier than the last

one high school girl is stabbed to death by her high school boyfriend and i feel sorry for them both yes him too yes his family too and this is a lot then another woman is on the freeway and her truck turns over and catches fire and people rush out and put the fire out on her burning body with the shirts off of their backs and she lived but her nine year old daughter is dead trapped in the truck and who can hear that after the girl was stabbed to death

then a high school cheerleader died at a game just dropped dead and why and nobody knows and what can we do about all of this

i cant turn away because i might miss one more thing and i hope that there are no more things tonight but there are always more things

and now it doesnt matter that the weatherman says that sunday will be beautiful and couldnt he have found another word because what about the parents of the dead cheerleader and she will not think tomorrow is beautiful because she has a funeral to prepare for and she didnt count on this

and it is not the weathermans fault but isnt it easier when it is someones fault and thank God for words and blogs and poetry even though this isnt much of a poem just words ok just words instead of tears about the dead cheerleader and girl stabbed by her boyfriend and who knows what else there is that they are not telling us about

and suddenly i am so sensitive to everything and why and when did this happen and is this what happens when your period stops and where there was blood now there are all of these tears and softspots in your heart for people you dont know and cravings for two tacos for one dollar at jack in the box

and there arent people you dont know because they are all me and i am all of them and tv is stupid and thank the joy of life for not having to make this entry of whatever it is make sense to you

you get it or you dont you feel it or you wont and now they are talking about saving the sea lion on the street so maybe that means that there are no more dead cheerleaders or stabbed high school girls but then they mention two cops that were killed and why did they talk about the cops after the sea lion and shouldnt the cops matter more than a sea lion caught on the street and how did he get there anyway

5335 are the lottery numbers if you care at all about the lottery in california

#maybeillneverunderstand

Friends

Me and him never was really all that close
Guess cos I never was really all that cute
But Talanda
She was more
Been friends 60 years now and I won't try to
Splain her kinda special
But that what I called her
More

Cos she was more than the better what
Thought they was something round there
Only thang
She thought bein more meant
She had to put up with bottom

So quite natural like
She married the biggest asshole she could find
Who fucked up real life with bullshit on the daily
I guess on the other side of thangs he was more too
Hell...he was the most

Yeah I did everything I could to stop that weddin
Cos I just knew
Hell...a monkey knew

Yeah I was one playerhatin, cock blockin,
Jealous at the same time
Protectin best friend

I know what you thankin

Here anotha story about anotha brotha don
Don anotha sista wrong
Not this time...not from me

Yeah he had everything to do with the
Technical parts of her death
But dammit now she did it to herself
May as well gon call a lie a lie and let the livin live
What I always says

I told her time over time

Talanda a womans gotta love herself

Enough to love herself all by herself
If she got to

You gotta go
Cos yous a dead woman in this house

Every time I tell her she just look at me cross
And tell me shame on me for not
Showin family respect
See I never did tell nobody but Talanda
But me and him is first cousins on my daddy side
But that don't never no mind to me

Woman is thicker than blood

Always has been

Besides...Talanda was my friend
My very good friend

Now I need yall to scuse me
But I had to tell yall that
Before I could begin this story right

I saw her blood all over me before he even shot her

For years she put up with senseless beatins
And name callins
Some gamblins
And cheatins was a given cos it was the time we lived in
Time we livin in now
So quite right he was a liar too
To this day I'll never know why he bothered with that
The truth was right there in his drawers
And she washed them out every night for
Forty and nine years
But habit is habit I guess

I was sittin right there where you are
He was over there about ten feet from us
And Talanda was standin above me to my left
Course the room was facin a different way

She and I had been in the house alone at first
She was still prancing around in the dress she
Bought that day

I didn't too much care for it
But I was glad to see her proud
With her head up finally
Some strength about herself

Talanda was a tall woman about 5'9"
Thin too about 125
Cute little shape though
Lil ole waise and ok breasts and hips for a
Woman our age
Course she never did have no kids she was
Allowed to keep

The dress was red
Not really blood red

But I bet it usta be when it was new
In good shape though

It had small small blue and yellow flowers or
Somethin all over it
A long dress
With red buttons goin all the way down
Cept the one at the waist didn't match
Not by design though
Like somebody did best they could to
Replace it fore they passed it on

It had short sleeves
A swoop neck collar
An elastic band on the back
Rayon?
Rayon.

Yes indeed...she was somebody new in that dress
Somebody I didn't even know
And I knowed her a long time

She bought the dress from a second hand store
And I like to believe that the woman who
Owned it first
Was some kinda kin to her
And was sending her some kinda message
Some kinda strength through the dress

Me...I was just sittin there drinkin wine

I keeps me a short dog in my purse you know

Then he come in pushin right past us like he
High offa something
Walk straight to the room mumblin
Something loud don't nobody know

The woman I usta know would be shakin in
Her slippers by now
But this new Talanda with the dress...

Didn't pay him a bit a mind
And I told you
I had a little ripple in me

So I starts laughin at him
And what I do that for

I shol wish she had left him like I told her
Like she knew she wanted to
Just scared is all

Once I even offered her five thousand dollars
Of my own funeral money
Because I will have me a very nice funeral
With a fine cherry wood casket
And plenty of spensive wine to go around you know

I offered her the money to jus go
Go somewhere far away
Somewhere and have a better life for the both us
I shol wish she took it

He come home marchin in the room with all
His man on
And goes over and slaps Talanda in the face
Real hard too

I have told you that
Talanda was my very good friend
But I spent almost my whole life in the
Middle of her and him

You can't see it but
Right here under my right breast where he
Cut me once
Tryin to kill her

For a while I thought I had done something
Honorable like
But aint kno honor in riskin yo own life
For a woman looking to sit on the death train anyway
Leastways aint looking to stop it for coming

And I gots kids!
Um ummmmmmmmmmm
I told her after that
That as the last time
And like my daddy says

I keeps my word like I keeps my money

I kept right on laughin too

He slapped her again
This time she look at me
Like I'm the one crazy
Like I'm the one spent my life up under
Somebody call me ugly
And do me wrong

Come to think of it
I kinda got mad at ther for looking at me that way
And I started to get up and get in both they faces
But I didn't
I sought right down there and didn't say a word

You would think that would be enough
Then from nowhere he is holdin a gun to her head
Looking straight at me and says

Laugh again and I'll kill yo friend

And dancing wit it too
Like its some kinda jump rope song
I just didn't know which to do
Until I looked at Talanda in that dress

I thought about the woman who was her
Great grandmother
Who maybe usta own the dress

Holdin her real strong and real proud

And I thought...one day he is gonna die
And it woull shol be nice if he meets her in
That other world
While she is wearin that dress
So she could whip his natural ass good

Then I looks up at him
And I laughs the meanest coldbloodnest
Laugh I could muster

I laughed for what she was gon do to him one day
And if she was gonna die
Cos everybody is
Then she was gonna die in that dress
I would see to it

Like I have already told you
Talanda was my good friend

And I laughed and laughed
Laughed right through the gunshot
Laughed while she fell slow in my lap
I didn't stop laughin
I laughed when he dropped the gun
I laughed when he walked out the house

I carried her bloody body to my car
Drove her to my house
And buried her in my own backyard

And every year on September the twenty third
I sits on his porch with a candle all lits up
And every hear when his new wife askes
What I'm doin
I looks up at the sky and says sadly and
Happy at the same time

I'm laughin