Obrey got out of the shower and put a robe around her wet body. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. (No. No. Not right now. I've got to call somebody. Write, paint, dance, work, sew, sing, talk, something.) She left the bathroom and went to her bedroom and got her purse from on top of her dresser. She scrolled fast through the names, Rhonda, River, Sister...she pushed send and got Davis' voicemail. Tonya, Ursula Willow, Zenobia. She sat her phone back in her purse then pulled her journal from her nightstand.
Dear Mom,
I'm sad today. It won't last long. But I am. Davis asked me the other day if I was pushing Amad away from me because of Daddy and I didn't know how to answer her. I still don't. I think in the background of every human being there is that vioice that says over and over that we're not good enough. Sometimes we listen to it and sometimes we don't, but it's there. It's there for me. Loud. There is a part of me that can't get over it. Haven't thoguht about it in years. But it's there. The sadness creeps on me and when it sets it stays for days. It takes over. Tries to anyway.
I was in the shower and I heard it coming as sure as I used to hear Grandmama rattling baking pots early Christmas morning. This damned feeling man. What is it? It starts with the same ole sentence and if I get hooked, then I'm stuck listening to it for days. I only allow myself three days of it trapping me in bed though. After that, no matter what I pull myself up. But it's here again, Mom. Telling me lies. Please God let them be lies.
None of this is going to work out. Who do you thnk you are? You and Amad will never be happy. Why would he want you anyway? Crazy bitdch. You're a crazy birtch. Fucking fucking crazy bitch who can't sew worth a damn and someday soon everyone will know what a fucking sick joke you are. Outdated fucking designs. No one will love you. You fucking better make it work with Amad because you leave him and Jewel is out of your sorry ass life too. You will never have children of your own. Amad only loves you because he needs a babysitter and you better be fucking glad he does. Fucking loser.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
THE NIKEL chapter 9
Amad saw Dob sitting at a table in the shop when Danielle came to take his order. Dob was still looking over the menu. "Ummmm...two scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, rye toast and orange juice."
Amad came up from behind him. "Don't you serve this man nothin' but some racquetball lessons." Danielle smiled and walked away while the two friends greeted each other.
"Hey there. What's goin' on businessman? The shop looks good. Did you just add this over here?" He pointed at the enlarged reading area behind the books.
"Yeah, on Saturday's now someone comes in and does story time for the kids so I made a bigger sitting area. Now if you were in here more often, you would know that. I did that a few months ago. Come check this out back here. Davis expanded the mural and added this over here."
"Go 'head. I like that. I'm gon' have to get her to come down to the building and see what she can do for A Brighter Way. She still single?"
"Hey man, I think so but you know I don't get in the middle of none of that."
"Who you think you talkin' to? I don't need you in the middle of it. I just wanted to know if she was still available. I should't have let her get away when I had the chance. So caught up in work and trying to get the school open...But anyway, I open up officially in less than a year now."
"Already?"
"Yep. I'm off track as of the day before yesterday. I love those kids and I'm gon' hate to leave, but this has been my dream for years. Twenty-four hour day care. Private school, pre k-6, free tutoring for students and adults. Something for the community. This year can't go by quick enough."
Amad had known Dob, whose full name is Anthony Dobson, for about three years then. They met at the coffee shop when he came in one day on his lunch break. The school where he taught was only three blocks away. He would ride his bike in. He said that it was the only exercise he really got. Except when he would join his students for recess. He loved those kids. Dob was the one who encouraged him to expand the coffee shop last year and add a bookstore. Since then business had been doing better. He had a lot of repspect for Dob. What you saw was what you got with him and Amad liked that. No games or hidden agends there. The two of them started playing racquetball together once a week. Shortly after they started playing recquetball he met Daivs at the shop. The two of them dated for just over a year. Then over lunch one day, it ended.
Amad came up from behind him. "Don't you serve this man nothin' but some racquetball lessons." Danielle smiled and walked away while the two friends greeted each other.
"Hey there. What's goin' on businessman? The shop looks good. Did you just add this over here?" He pointed at the enlarged reading area behind the books.
"Yeah, on Saturday's now someone comes in and does story time for the kids so I made a bigger sitting area. Now if you were in here more often, you would know that. I did that a few months ago. Come check this out back here. Davis expanded the mural and added this over here."
"Go 'head. I like that. I'm gon' have to get her to come down to the building and see what she can do for A Brighter Way. She still single?"
"Hey man, I think so but you know I don't get in the middle of none of that."
"Who you think you talkin' to? I don't need you in the middle of it. I just wanted to know if she was still available. I should't have let her get away when I had the chance. So caught up in work and trying to get the school open...But anyway, I open up officially in less than a year now."
"Already?"
"Yep. I'm off track as of the day before yesterday. I love those kids and I'm gon' hate to leave, but this has been my dream for years. Twenty-four hour day care. Private school, pre k-6, free tutoring for students and adults. Something for the community. This year can't go by quick enough."
Amad had known Dob, whose full name is Anthony Dobson, for about three years then. They met at the coffee shop when he came in one day on his lunch break. The school where he taught was only three blocks away. He would ride his bike in. He said that it was the only exercise he really got. Except when he would join his students for recess. He loved those kids. Dob was the one who encouraged him to expand the coffee shop last year and add a bookstore. Since then business had been doing better. He had a lot of repspect for Dob. What you saw was what you got with him and Amad liked that. No games or hidden agends there. The two of them started playing racquetball together once a week. Shortly after they started playing recquetball he met Daivs at the shop. The two of them dated for just over a year. Then over lunch one day, it ended.
THE NIKEL chapter 8
When Life asked if Saundra knew what she wanted she immediately thought about the conversation she had with the girls over the weekend. She thought about Michelle all last night. She met her just before she opened the tax business. Saundra remembered that Michelle used to dream about being a dancer. Sometimes Saundra would go with her to the African dance class in Leimert Park. Saundra was there for the exercise and fun but she always thought that Michelle was reliving her dream. She was really good. And those were just Saturday morning workout classes. What if I am letting my dreams pass me by. What am I waiting for? She thought. She had been the supervisor of the superior court clerk's office for two and a half years and had worked there three years before that. She took the job temporarily until she could save money to get her own restaurant. Saundra began thinking about it again. She sure wasn't happy at her job.
"Where you goin'?"
"Just drivin'. You're quiet over there. What you thinkin' about?" Life asked.
"Ummm. Food."
"You hungry?"
"No. I used to talk all the time about opening a restaurant or at least starting my own catering company. And now, I think about it but almost like it's something I could have done. I could do it you know."
"You could. What's stopping you?"
"Me I guess."
Life and Saundra rode along Pacific Coast Highway in silence and looked out the window in deep thought."
"Where you goin'?"
"Just drivin'. You're quiet over there. What you thinkin' about?" Life asked.
"Ummm. Food."
"You hungry?"
"No. I used to talk all the time about opening a restaurant or at least starting my own catering company. And now, I think about it but almost like it's something I could have done. I could do it you know."
"You could. What's stopping you?"
"Me I guess."
Life and Saundra rode along Pacific Coast Highway in silence and looked out the window in deep thought."
THE NIKEL chapter 7
After the weekend Life was in the downtown Los Angeles traffic picking Saundra up from work at the Los Angeles County Superior Court. He wondered how she did it everyday. How she got up early in the morning, swam at the gym, sat in all the traffic, supervised her department and then sat in traffic again. On top of that he knew that he was not the easiest guy to to deal with all of the time. Life also thought about what Guns said. He knew it was crazy. He knew his lady better than Guns ever could. Still, Life mentally questioned Saundra in ways he had never before?
She stood outside in a soft pink dress that came just above her knees with a pair of high heels. There outside in the breeze he could see the top of her bra just a little. If he could see it, he was sure the suit she was talking to could. Life pulled up staring hard at him. Eigth grade boys. Saundra got in the truck and leaned in to give him a kiss. Without thinking, he pulled away. "Who was that?" He asked.
"One of the attorneys handling a new case here. He heard a little knucklehead in the elevator say something disrespectful to me and just wanted to make sure the kid left."
"What did he say?"
"I don't remember. It was nothing really. Just some teenager showin' off in front of his little friends. We had only been outside a minute when you pulled up. What's wrong with you?"
Life pulled off and they were quiet for a while. A rap song came on the radio and she cut it off.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I don't feel like hearing any noise right now. I'm getting a headache."
"So the music I want to listen to is noise."
Saundra sighed and shook her head and leaned in closer and kissed his chest. She liked that it made him relax and smile but noticed a pattern she knew she had to put a stop to. He got upset and she calmed him down with sex. He got the sex whe wanted but she missed the sharing the she wanted. And asking him to talk would only start the cycle all over again.
"How do you always know what I want?" He let his fingers get tangeld in her hair. "You know, when I was growing up I dreamed of having all of the things that I have. I thought that when I got them, I was supposed to suddenly be happy because of those things."
"You sayin' you not happy?" She kissed him again. This time for her. The more he shared anything, even stories about his childhood, anything, she got turned on by it.
"Do you kow what you want, Saundra?"
"You mean right now?" She looked up at him and smiled. He gently pushed her off of him.
"I mean period. Do you know?"
Saundra sat up and looked out of the window. Just then when it was her turn to "talk" it wasn't so easy. Life's phone rang and he was sure Saundra thought she was saved. She knew the signs of his deep conversation coming on and knew she wasn't in the mood for it.
"What's up, Bec? Cool, out and and about right now. What's goin' on? Who? Family Soul? Eight days? Couldn't I just fly off at the next port?"
He looked over at Saundra. "She might, I'll ask her. Bec, I'll look at my calender and give you a call tonight. Send me the details."
"What's up?"
"Bec wants to book me to do a show on a cruise in a couple of months. It sounds cool but it's for eight days though and they want me to stay the whole time. Baby?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think you could get time off work? I want you to come with me."
She stood outside in a soft pink dress that came just above her knees with a pair of high heels. There outside in the breeze he could see the top of her bra just a little. If he could see it, he was sure the suit she was talking to could. Life pulled up staring hard at him. Eigth grade boys. Saundra got in the truck and leaned in to give him a kiss. Without thinking, he pulled away. "Who was that?" He asked.
"One of the attorneys handling a new case here. He heard a little knucklehead in the elevator say something disrespectful to me and just wanted to make sure the kid left."
"What did he say?"
"I don't remember. It was nothing really. Just some teenager showin' off in front of his little friends. We had only been outside a minute when you pulled up. What's wrong with you?"
Life pulled off and they were quiet for a while. A rap song came on the radio and she cut it off.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I don't feel like hearing any noise right now. I'm getting a headache."
"So the music I want to listen to is noise."
Saundra sighed and shook her head and leaned in closer and kissed his chest. She liked that it made him relax and smile but noticed a pattern she knew she had to put a stop to. He got upset and she calmed him down with sex. He got the sex whe wanted but she missed the sharing the she wanted. And asking him to talk would only start the cycle all over again.
"How do you always know what I want?" He let his fingers get tangeld in her hair. "You know, when I was growing up I dreamed of having all of the things that I have. I thought that when I got them, I was supposed to suddenly be happy because of those things."
"You sayin' you not happy?" She kissed him again. This time for her. The more he shared anything, even stories about his childhood, anything, she got turned on by it.
"Do you kow what you want, Saundra?"
"You mean right now?" She looked up at him and smiled. He gently pushed her off of him.
"I mean period. Do you know?"
Saundra sat up and looked out of the window. Just then when it was her turn to "talk" it wasn't so easy. Life's phone rang and he was sure Saundra thought she was saved. She knew the signs of his deep conversation coming on and knew she wasn't in the mood for it.
"What's up, Bec? Cool, out and and about right now. What's goin' on? Who? Family Soul? Eight days? Couldn't I just fly off at the next port?"
He looked over at Saundra. "She might, I'll ask her. Bec, I'll look at my calender and give you a call tonight. Send me the details."
"What's up?"
"Bec wants to book me to do a show on a cruise in a couple of months. It sounds cool but it's for eight days though and they want me to stay the whole time. Baby?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think you could get time off work? I want you to come with me."
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Hospital waiting room
11:15am
I'm at the UCLA Harbor General Hospital. Fibroids. Again. My stomach felt like it was on fire last night. Crazy cramping even an hour after the codine pill. Woke up this morning and the tumors were bleeding. I need to just suck it up and have the surgery. It's not the surgery as much as it is the recovery time. But here I am, getting the process started to get this over with.
Had to say a prayer for the day before I left home because who knows what a day in the waiting room at any county hospital could look like. So far so good though. Stopped at the Rite Aid across the street to get a notebook because well... who am I without one. Had to park pretty far though but that's ok. Borrowed a pen from the security guard and now it's on.
11:32am
Just heard my name called.
11:33am
She put the band on my wrist and I'm back sitting down. Returned borrowed pen and found one in my bag. Cool.
It's not as crowded as I thought it would be. Hopefully I will get called soon.
I called out from work today. I didn't want to do that. I really love the client I work with. I'm super happy I left the agency and got this client. Easier and much more pleasureable all the way around. Actually a few areas of my life are much better.
11:44am
Just heard my name again.
Getting my vitals taken.
11:46am
Back in the waiting room. So yes, the biggest changes in my life happen to be the areas I'm most private about. As far as the blog is concerned anyway. Work and love. Love especially. Still getting used to it really. Being this comfortable. Loving this love. Thank You, God! Thank You! Thank You!
11:50am
We are the 99 percent
these black and brown
these white and old
these young and thin and
fat sickly and happy
faces
waiting for our names to be called
Martinez
Vasquez
Wendy Williams on TV
Access Hollywood at the other end
Korean
Indian doctors wisk by
with clipboards
with pen
Lopez ventanilla dos!
Robin Reed!
Robin Reed?
11:55am
Urine test. Before they can send anyone to OB-GYN clinic they have to make sure the patient isn't pregnant.
CNA: Ok, you have a 2:00 appointment at the OB-GYN clinic but try to be there by 1:30.
Me: Ok, thank you.
12:18pm
At the OB-GYN clinic window. There are about twenty people in the waiting area. There is a red box for patients to take a number but the clerk is sitting there and I don't hear numbers being called so I went up to the window.
Old black man: Um, excuse me now. You 'posta wait yo turn. Thas ma wife over there. We number 33.
Me: Oh ok. Sorry.
Receptionist: Number 35?!
I'm next.
So here's the thing about journaling in waiting rooms. Someone sits down next to you. I don't like that because even if this lady with the blue jacket to my right (yes you) isn't reading what I'm writing, it feels like it. So it's the same thing.
12:56pm
The codine I took this morning is wearing off.
12:58pm
The waiting room has greatly filled up. There are about sixty people in here now. We are in three different sections and there are three seperate walkways feeding to and from this area. It's getting pretty busy. I'm glad I came when I did.
Receptionist: Number 63!
The woman sitting across from me is eating a chilli cheese burger from Fatburger. This whole section smells like a Fatburger kitchen. I guess what's interesting about her eating that here is that it's food like that that has us here in the hospital waiting room.
1:29pm
Receptionist: Number 77!
1:30pm
Robin Reed?!
I couldn't find which door she was calling me from. By the time I did (a whole forty seconds later) she called someone else.
Me: I'm Robin Reed.
CNA: You have to wait until I'm finished with her now.
A simple "Robin Reed door A" would have prevented this wait.
This waiting room is right next to the elevators and everytime the elevator doors open it causes the loudest squeek an elevator door can make. Seriously somebody, put some grease on those doors!
1:46pm
CNA: Robin Reed!
Blood pressure, weight, tempature again. I have got to lose weight. For real. I am 211 pounds now. The heaviest I've ever been in life. Between the weight gain and tumors stretching my stomach it's taking more and more work maintaining a healthy physical self esteem. It's irratating because it's all in my control.
1:53pm
There is a woman in the back waiting room with me who is in a wheel chair. The CNA came in and politely told her that she needed to take the chair. As she (CNA) was helping her into the sitting chair, the lady just went off on her.
Lady: Wait! Don't be rushin' me! I can get up and walk my damn self!
Now how was the CNA supposed to know she could walk without assistance? After all, she was sitting in a wheel chair.
4:35pm
Sitting in the waiting room for my prescription. The byopsy was so incredibly painful! Every uterus exam I take I'm told that my uterus is twisted and pushed back or in some other weird position. Like it's my fault. Like that's the explaination as to why it has to hurt so badly. "Your uterus is like way back there..and it's not in the center so we have to..." Like I'm some kind of freak or something. I am in so much fucking pain right now.
Love just called. His timing is perfect and his name in my phone makes me smile.
Love: You ok?
Me: Not yet, but I will be.
I feel like I have been poked and pulled given a shot in the ass by every possible sharp thing.
Gotta come back in three weeks for results.
I'm at the UCLA Harbor General Hospital. Fibroids. Again. My stomach felt like it was on fire last night. Crazy cramping even an hour after the codine pill. Woke up this morning and the tumors were bleeding. I need to just suck it up and have the surgery. It's not the surgery as much as it is the recovery time. But here I am, getting the process started to get this over with.
Had to say a prayer for the day before I left home because who knows what a day in the waiting room at any county hospital could look like. So far so good though. Stopped at the Rite Aid across the street to get a notebook because well... who am I without one. Had to park pretty far though but that's ok. Borrowed a pen from the security guard and now it's on.
11:32am
Just heard my name called.
11:33am
She put the band on my wrist and I'm back sitting down. Returned borrowed pen and found one in my bag. Cool.
It's not as crowded as I thought it would be. Hopefully I will get called soon.
I called out from work today. I didn't want to do that. I really love the client I work with. I'm super happy I left the agency and got this client. Easier and much more pleasureable all the way around. Actually a few areas of my life are much better.
11:44am
Just heard my name again.
Getting my vitals taken.
11:46am
Back in the waiting room. So yes, the biggest changes in my life happen to be the areas I'm most private about. As far as the blog is concerned anyway. Work and love. Love especially. Still getting used to it really. Being this comfortable. Loving this love. Thank You, God! Thank You! Thank You!
11:50am
We are the 99 percent
these black and brown
these white and old
these young and thin and
fat sickly and happy
faces
waiting for our names to be called
Martinez
Vasquez
Wendy Williams on TV
Access Hollywood at the other end
Korean
Indian doctors wisk by
with clipboards
with pen
Lopez ventanilla dos!
Robin Reed!
Robin Reed?
11:55am
Urine test. Before they can send anyone to OB-GYN clinic they have to make sure the patient isn't pregnant.
CNA: Ok, you have a 2:00 appointment at the OB-GYN clinic but try to be there by 1:30.
Me: Ok, thank you.
12:18pm
At the OB-GYN clinic window. There are about twenty people in the waiting area. There is a red box for patients to take a number but the clerk is sitting there and I don't hear numbers being called so I went up to the window.
Old black man: Um, excuse me now. You 'posta wait yo turn. Thas ma wife over there. We number 33.
Me: Oh ok. Sorry.
Receptionist: Number 35?!
I'm next.
So here's the thing about journaling in waiting rooms. Someone sits down next to you. I don't like that because even if this lady with the blue jacket to my right (yes you) isn't reading what I'm writing, it feels like it. So it's the same thing.
12:56pm
The codine I took this morning is wearing off.
12:58pm
The waiting room has greatly filled up. There are about sixty people in here now. We are in three different sections and there are three seperate walkways feeding to and from this area. It's getting pretty busy. I'm glad I came when I did.
Receptionist: Number 63!
The woman sitting across from me is eating a chilli cheese burger from Fatburger. This whole section smells like a Fatburger kitchen. I guess what's interesting about her eating that here is that it's food like that that has us here in the hospital waiting room.
1:29pm
Receptionist: Number 77!
1:30pm
Robin Reed?!
I couldn't find which door she was calling me from. By the time I did (a whole forty seconds later) she called someone else.
Me: I'm Robin Reed.
CNA: You have to wait until I'm finished with her now.
A simple "Robin Reed door A" would have prevented this wait.
This waiting room is right next to the elevators and everytime the elevator doors open it causes the loudest squeek an elevator door can make. Seriously somebody, put some grease on those doors!
1:46pm
CNA: Robin Reed!
Blood pressure, weight, tempature again. I have got to lose weight. For real. I am 211 pounds now. The heaviest I've ever been in life. Between the weight gain and tumors stretching my stomach it's taking more and more work maintaining a healthy physical self esteem. It's irratating because it's all in my control.
1:53pm
There is a woman in the back waiting room with me who is in a wheel chair. The CNA came in and politely told her that she needed to take the chair. As she (CNA) was helping her into the sitting chair, the lady just went off on her.
Lady: Wait! Don't be rushin' me! I can get up and walk my damn self!
Now how was the CNA supposed to know she could walk without assistance? After all, she was sitting in a wheel chair.
4:35pm
Sitting in the waiting room for my prescription. The byopsy was so incredibly painful! Every uterus exam I take I'm told that my uterus is twisted and pushed back or in some other weird position. Like it's my fault. Like that's the explaination as to why it has to hurt so badly. "Your uterus is like way back there..and it's not in the center so we have to..." Like I'm some kind of freak or something. I am in so much fucking pain right now.
Love just called. His timing is perfect and his name in my phone makes me smile.
Love: You ok?
Me: Not yet, but I will be.
I feel like I have been poked and pulled given a shot in the ass by every possible sharp thing.
Gotta come back in three weeks for results.
Facebook conversation
My post: salon massacre in orange county. praying. we never know whats going on inside of someone elses head. 8 ppl killed.
James Tribue
I just think they're lacking faith!! Only the strong survive!!
Jaha Zainabu
perhaps. but sometimes the pressures of life are heavier than one can deal with at a particular time. those pressures build and build until people snap. it is a sad situation.
James Tribue
I believe that's an excuse. Cause I've pressures of life as well, and never thought about killing anyone let alone 8 people. NO EXCUSES FOR IGNORANCE!!! I was told that GOD won't put more on you than you can handle, and I am a witness!!
Elaine Bryant-Burks
Develop coping skills and STOP medicating
Jaha Zainabu
this is true and i am in no way defending or excusing his tragic actions, im only stating that many among us dont have coping skills and dont know how to handle the pressure and we are all living together.
James Tribue
You only hear about that type of drama with a certain ethnic group......ijs
Jaha Zainabu
the dc sniper was black
Jaha Zainabu
i dont believe that this is a black white thing. this is a human problem. even if only "certain ethnic" groups wild out like this, which i dont believe is true, everyone is still affected
Pamela Nash
wow! lol i would be careful.... Jaha, yes it is sad. I feel so bad for all of the families and friends affected by this person's actions. I'm amazed at the stupidity though. If you're angry over custody of your child, how does killing the child's mother and 7 other people help? He gets the "THAT GUY" award for the day. smh
Jaha Zainabu
pamela thats just what is so dangerous. its not thought out. its all emotion. thats why i say it affects us all.
James Tribue
ur correct, I pray for the surviving victims and families of the deceased. However, I refuse to make excuses for a weak minded soul!! Cause I've had my wife MURDERED, and I could've used that as an excuse to go off(execute), kill anyone. But, I know that wouldn't bring her back. That kat was weak minded. That's it, that's all. Much love
Jaha Zainabu
james i got your point and i appreciate the conversation. ummm, just in case it was a mistake, did you just say that you had your wife "MURDERED"? maybe that was a typeo and youd like to correct that so that its not hanging there in black and white.
Pamela Nash
i think he was trying to say that he had to deal with his wife being murdered.
we all know that but yeah, the wording was all messed up. i think he was trying too hard to get his point across and didn't proofread his comment before submitting.
James Tribue
I just think they're lacking faith!! Only the strong survive!!
Jaha Zainabu
perhaps. but sometimes the pressures of life are heavier than one can deal with at a particular time. those pressures build and build until people snap. it is a sad situation.
James Tribue
I believe that's an excuse. Cause I've pressures of life as well, and never thought about killing anyone let alone 8 people. NO EXCUSES FOR IGNORANCE!!! I was told that GOD won't put more on you than you can handle, and I am a witness!!
Elaine Bryant-Burks
Develop coping skills and STOP medicating
Jaha Zainabu
this is true and i am in no way defending or excusing his tragic actions, im only stating that many among us dont have coping skills and dont know how to handle the pressure and we are all living together.
James Tribue
You only hear about that type of drama with a certain ethnic group......ijs
Jaha Zainabu
the dc sniper was black
Jaha Zainabu
i dont believe that this is a black white thing. this is a human problem. even if only "certain ethnic" groups wild out like this, which i dont believe is true, everyone is still affected
Pamela Nash
wow! lol i would be careful.... Jaha, yes it is sad. I feel so bad for all of the families and friends affected by this person's actions. I'm amazed at the stupidity though. If you're angry over custody of your child, how does killing the child's mother and 7 other people help? He gets the "THAT GUY" award for the day. smh
Jaha Zainabu
pamela thats just what is so dangerous. its not thought out. its all emotion. thats why i say it affects us all.
James Tribue
ur correct, I pray for the surviving victims and families of the deceased. However, I refuse to make excuses for a weak minded soul!! Cause I've had my wife MURDERED, and I could've used that as an excuse to go off(execute), kill anyone. But, I know that wouldn't bring her back. That kat was weak minded. That's it, that's all. Much love
Jaha Zainabu
james i got your point and i appreciate the conversation. ummm, just in case it was a mistake, did you just say that you had your wife "MURDERED"? maybe that was a typeo and youd like to correct that so that its not hanging there in black and white.
Pamela Nash
i think he was trying to say that he had to deal with his wife being murdered.
we all know that but yeah, the wording was all messed up. i think he was trying too hard to get his point across and didn't proofread his comment before submitting.
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