Dear Uraeus

I am sorry that this is the world you get I wanted a safer place for you 1. I am watching news on ABC wondering if they are going to say something about the execution of Troy Anthony Davis yesterday Nothing I am sad for all of us Weeping for those who rejoice in any man's death Justice should look different from this If it will not be fair It should at least be sure Uraeus, do not ride in a car with three or more black boys 2. I am not ready to write this story about us There is too much too sad on TV news I don't know what channel I am watching As if channels matter I am too old too emotional too sensitive too hormonal Too not ready to celebrate to commerate to honor to acknowledge to look at twenty years of the L.A. uprising Uraeus, I hold you too tightly too often 3. This is a reminder of burned buildings bricks through windshields on heads looted televisions Human beings not relating too many whys A reminder of our fear There are triggers all around me The store clerk following young black boys down isle three up five back down seven Dearheart, I love you and will not lose you to this foolishness 4. I cannot pray for my son without praying for myself for my fear the fear I inherited from my grandmother and her mother and hers all the way back to wrinkled red clay gold blueblack woman heard her boy was gone The stories keep coming One black boy after another Beloved, I will not rear you with my fear I will not rear you with my fear I will not rear you with my fear I am reminding myself 5. We scrub blood stain out of concrete Tomorrow we will get her through tomorrow Let our communal love be enough to carry her through the night These mothers Tre'von's Oscar's Amadu's Emmitt's Sean's What will we have left of him if we wrase the blood stain We scrub and we are afraid girls will skip rope boys will bounce balls not remember his name and his name his name Our heads over red bucket filled with tears with pinesol amonia with bleach This should be no parent's lot This is the rainbow Ntozake called enuf Love, Mom