THE NIKEL chapter 12

The next day at Amad's coffee shop there was a retirement party for Afua. She was dressed in her usual African attire. There were many people there to celebrate with her. Afua was employed as a postal worker for forty years and was finally and happily ready to retire. As the crowd cheered for her, Obrey carried the cake and set it down in front of her. "Well it won't be long now." Afua said.

"For what?"

"Till you're a married woman, that's what. Why aren't you wearing your engagement ring?"

"I'm not sure. Is that all everyone has to talk to me about?"

"Uh oooh. What's going on?"

"I'm sorry for snapping, just cold feet I guess."

"Don't get weak. This society has lost it's sense of family values and relationships just don't mean a thing to anybody anymore. You gotta be strong and hang in there. You have a good man. He loves you and he's doing right by his child. Don't lose sight of the blessing you have."

"Amad is a good man, but I'm not sure we're right for each other. I don't feel excited when I see him."

Afua laughed lightly and patronizingly as she pat her on the shoulder. "You aint got to be excited, chile. See, the white man has put it in our heads to be lead by every little feeling we have. Now we're just runnin' round every which a way following every little desire. Amad is going to be a good husband, and you're going to be a good wife. And the two of you are going to raise that baby. That's what God wants."

"Doesn't God want us to be happy? I'm just not sure that I love him enough."

A week later Obrey and Willow were together going to a party. "Oh, please Obrey! Don't you tell me nothing's wrong. Sometimes, as your friend I allow you to be quiet and not talk about what's going on. And then there are times, as your friend, I have to pull it out of you before you get all stuffed up and die. Come on now. You gotta let life run through you like prune juice."

Obrey chuckled. "Prune juice?"

"Yeah girl. Hold it inside you feed your ulcers." Obrey gave her a strange look. "I heard one of the poets say that. I thought it was fresh. Anyway, I'm trying to help you out and raise your mental a little." Willow snapped her fingers as if she was at a poetry reading. Willow could always make Obrey laugh even when Obrey didn't want to. "No, for real though. You and Amad have had the same issues forever. Why are you acting so brand new these days?"

"I was thinking...whoever I'm with..."

"Whomever."

"Imma hurt you. Anyway, whomever I'm with, eventually I'm going to have a spell where I'm not as in love as I used to be. I mean...that fire...doesn't it only come in cycles anyway? I'm in such a funk. I wish I could wake up and recognize what a good brotha Amad is and that I really do love him."

"Well should one of your cycles be this close to your wedding date? And why do sistas always do that anyway? 'But he's a good man.' So what! You're a good woman. What? That don't count? Willow parked the car and accidentally hit the bumper of another vehicle which set off the alarm. "Opps!" She backed out of the parking space and moved into another one.

Obrey laughed. "Well maybe if you took those glasses off you could see."

"Girl, you just jealous 'cause I look like Patti LaBelle in these." Willow let out a long exhale and looked in her mirrror. "Relax, relate, release. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go."

"You sound like you talking more to you than to me. What's going on Miss let it all out? And take those damn glasses off!"

Willow took her shades off and turned to Obrey. She could tell that Willow had been crying.

"Girl, what's wrong? You look like you've been crying all night long."

"And all morning." Willow replied.

"What, is it Alex?"

"Girl, I don't even want to bring you down with everything I got going on."

"Would you stop it! Why do sistas do that? Play all strong like we can't be touched. That's why stuff keeps happening to us strong women. 'Cause we keep acting like we can keep takin' it. So that's what we keep getting. I swear the next time a brotha calls me a strong woman Imma sock him in the face to show him how strong I am. It's Marvin trippin' again isn't it?"

"I don't know what to call it. We've been going back and forth for years about Alex living with him. Of course I want him with me forever but he is a black boy and there are too many black boys who don't even know their fathers, let alone have the oportunity to live with them."

"He's living with Marvin full time now?"

"Well, he's been there for about three months now. Really he's been going to school in Palmdale but he's with me every weekend and break and will be for the summer. We started it off as just trying it out. Of course it was hard for me, but he is nine years old now and Marvin wanted him going to school out there before he was a teenager."

"I can see that. What's wrong throgh? You two haven't been together since he was a baby, what's the beef this time? Is it his new wife?"

"Well they aren't married yet. But the beef is that he's trying to get full custody."

"Damn girl. Why?"

"I dont' know. Nothing has really happened. I think he thinks that because he's got his fiance and son he doesn't need me in the picture anymore."

"But Alex needs you."

"I know and you know and Alex knows and the whole world knows. But Marvin aint getting it."

"He's not saying that you can't see him or nothin' like that is he?"

"No, but if I sign over full custody to him I don't get a legal say in his life. It's not even about that, it's why the hell would he even do this? Now I gotta retain and attorney and all that. And that's gonna cost me three thousand dollars. And it's all stupid because he's fighting for something that he's not gonna win. I'm not an unfit mother. And he's not out there because I can't take care of him."

"Girl, come here. You know it's gonna be ok, right?"

"I know. Things keep running through my head though. Like when Marvin came to pick him up to go and live out there, it's weird I guess, but I wish that I would have held him longer."

"But that wsn't the last time you've seen him. I'm sure you hug him plenty."

"Of course I do, but that day marked a special time in his life and I should have held him longer."

"Willow don't do this. You're a great mother and you don't have anything to feel guilty about. Stop it."

"And now when he's with me I sit on his bed while he's sleeping and kiss him and ..." Obrey noticed that she was beginning to cry. "It's okay, sweetie. Let it out."

"Let's talk about this later." Willow wiped her face. It wasn't like Willow to let anyone see her cry. Anyone. She would just make a joke and pull the attention off of how she really felt. "Let's release all of this and enjoy this evening." She adjusted her rear view mirror to look at her face and hmmmed Lady Marmalade while she put on her lipstick. "Right now, we are going to release Amad and Marvin. Just for a few hours we're not going to talk about them. We're not going to look at anyone who looks like them. We're going inside for a little while. We're going to have a good time. And then we're going to leave. Got it?"

"Would you just get out this car, Patti and stop talking to me like I'm Alex or Jewel!"

"Oooooohhh! Jealous!"

"Willow, one more thing. I got some money saved if you need some help."

"Thanks girl, but I got it.'

"Would you tell me if you didn't, strong woman?"

"Get out of the car and let's go, before I sock you."

Obrey opened the door and got out. When she closed the door, Life opened the door and tried to find out where the alarm came from.

"Willow Tree!"

Willow didn't pay much attention to Life. She walked past him through the door. "Hey, Life, you know my friend, Obrey. Obrey, Life." Life and Obrey shook hands and Willow waved at someone inside and went to greet her friend. Obrey noticed how good Life smelled.

"May I get you something to drink?" Life offered Obrey.

"Excuse me? Ummm no, thank you." There was a moment of silence. Obrey stood in the entrance and looked arouond the house. They were next to a framed photo of a couple on an island. They were under a big tree and in the picture you could see a water fall. "This is a beautiful picture. I wonder where they were."

"That is nice. Do you know Melissa and Cap?"

"Not really. We met once. I designed his sister's wedding gown and they brought her over for a fitting."

"That's right. You're a designer. How is your business going?"

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "Um, pretty good. I think I'll take that drink now. Merlot please?"

"So, this is what, the third time we met?"

"I guess so."

"Maybe this time you'll speak to me before you leave and you won't just disappear like Cinderella."

"Maybe."

Life and Obrey sat on the couch laughing, talking and drinking among the many people at the house who were having a good time.

"It's so easy to talk to you. You have a great sense of humor too." Life said as he gently tapped her thigh.

"Everybody doesn't seem to think so."

"Then he's a fool."

"May I ask you something?"

Life smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Where is that line between who you really are and what you do? I mean, I look at you sitting here all calm and seemingly at peace with yourself. You don't look at all like the person I see out, whose job it is to entertain everybody. Who has to be on every time he's in public." Obrey imitated him by rapping one of his songs.

"So you think you know me?" Life asked.

"I know more about you than I did the last time I saw you at the club."

"Yeah, about that, I tried to say hello. The guy you were with, your husband?" Obrey looked away as if she didn't hear him. "Oh, I hit a sore spot, huh?"

"No, I just didn't come to talk about me." Obrey responded.

"You came to talk about me?"

"Yeah, yeah...I came to talk about you." She paused. "May I get you something to drink?"

"Not so fast, Madam. You come down here and get all in my head like some psychitrist and then punk out when the topic truns to you?"

"Punk out?" Obrey pointed to herself.

"Yes." Life responded and flashed his beautiful smile while pointing to her.

"May I get you something to drink? Please?" She asked as she got off the couch and headed to the bar.